Tuesday, July 14, 2020

i'm here and i'm queer.


i'm queer! i've always been but only recently gained understanding and acceptance of who i am.

for most of my life i was confused and/or plain wrong about queerness, wrong about LGBTQIA+ people and their identities. of course this harmed countless folks, including myself! i'm a recovering bigot. it's devastating to know so personally how hurtful my wrong was. 

through my husband's job we have access to therapy. access to this privilege has saved my life and really my whole little family. for me, part of my therapy work has unearthed deep trauma roots and provided me with tools to work toward healing. physically, mentally, spiritually, i'm deconstructing and getting healthy and free. many things were known and expected, some surprises were buried in plain sight. queerness was the latter. 

if i haven't already spoken to you and you're among those who've been affected by my queerphobia, homophobia, transphobia,

i'm sorry. i was wrong. 

i was never mean or hateful, i was a nice queerphobic person. but nice queerphobia, homophobia and transphobia? it's still evil. i'll say even more evil, in its insidiousness. 
we'll unpack this further in future posts, for now, 

i'm coming out.
and i didn't plan for it to happen now, but just found out today is NON-BINARY PEOPLE'S DAY and it felt right.

i am a non-binary queer person. 

queer is a term charged with history, trauma and emotions. queer has been reclaimed by many in the LGBTQIA+ community. i feel connected and at home in the queer community.
for me, queer means rest and welcome. queerness is unrestricted, it's creative, abstract and infinite. 

focusing on my gender identity for this post,
i'm genderqueer. 
my pronouns are she/her/they/them.

genderqueer is a non-binary gender identity, under the transgender umbrella. fluctuating among the binaries of male and female genders, genderqueer fits me. 
gender isn't binary or linear. it's more of a spectrum, like paints on a palette.

i'm thrilled to share more about gender things, about many things, i'm learning and more about my unfolding story.


for now, i'll close with this i shared last month on facebook:

trans women are women.
trans men are men. 
non-binary people exist.

gender isn't binary. 

gender may not match sex.

a transgender (trans) person is someone whose gender identity is different than their assigned gender at birth.

if you're non-binary (sometimes enby), it means your gender is outside of the binary male and female genders. this could mean between those, mixture of those or beyond those. as non-binary people's gender differs from their assigned gender at birth, they are trans. some non-binary people identify as transgender, some don't. all valid.

cisgender (cis) means a person's gender identity matches their assigned gender at birth. 

transgender. not transgendered.

trans woman. not transwoman. 
trans is the adjective, woman is the noun.

trans women are women.
trans men are men. 
non-binary people exist.

gender isn't binary. 

gender diversity is a necessary and intrinsic part of nature. like nature itself, gender diversity reflects god's creativity!

gender may not match sex.

sex assigned at birth has nothing to do with gender identity. 

sex is female, male, or variations of intersex. 
one's sex is physical characteristics and includes: genitalia, gonads, hormones, chromosomes, and secondary sex characteristics like breasts, body hair, voice changes.

intersex is a naturally occurring variation of sex characteristics and reproductive organs that do not fit the typical definition of male or female. 
intersex people exist.

"gender is sociocultural attitudes and behaviors that shape behaviors, products, technologies, environments, and knowledge. gender attitudes and behaviors are complex, changing as cultural norms and values change across time, with education, wealth, and age, and are specific to cultures, religions, ethnicities, and infrastructures. gender also intersects with other social categories, such as sex, age, and ethnicity. gender is multidimensional." 

are you interested in exploring gender? 
the gender wheel is a great gender diversity resource for all ages.