Monday, August 17, 2015

my prayer tonight - for elijah


most days we do our own thing. i'd forgotten a bit, how true that is, until you started school last week. switching to the non-summer routine hurts. but with all its pain, we're already seeing the treasure of it. you've got an amazing teacher this year and your classroom is jungle themed. monkeys everywhere! it's like she knew your curious george obsessed self was coming and made it just right for you. i loved sitting with you in your class for orientation! you loved the booklet your teacher made you, telling you all about herself. when you saw the page about her birthday your eyes danced and you "talked to my ears" mama! let's surprise mrs. mc. on her birthday! what a sweet answer to prayer, this kind teacher and her contagious smile. another answer to prayer, you have the same aide as last year! i'm so excited to see how this year unfolds. let's back up and talk about this prayer business.

we learned several weeks ago that even though you'd be repeating kindergarten, nothing would be the same. new teacher, new special educators, new aide. i was anxious for you. fearful, too. you've had such a difficult few months. oh, how i sometimes wish i could make everything easy for you! change is hard for us all, but i know it's a whole 'nother world of hard for you, sweet boy. quickly the dread melted away because i remembered who knows you even better than i do. jesus. 

jesus knew about the changes before we did and he knew your needs well before that. he's a good designer and makes no mistakes. we can trust his way, even when it seems dim to our comfort focused sight. so i prayed. i didn't feel the need to ask for much besides god's help to trust him. lord, you know elijah now and who he will be this school year. bring the right staff and bring peace as we trust your giving. and son. he went and placed you in the best kindergarten class. he brought a sweet soul in to be your special educator. he went above and beyond what i even thought to pray for and gave you precious m. again as your personal sidekick. we didn't think she was even coming back to your school, much less to be your aide!

i want you to know.
when we cuddle up at bedtime, after stories and songs, when we talk to god? he hears us. i think you already know this. 

you came home from school talking about a boy who has no hands. you had so many questions and comments. we discussed differences and kindness. your response was to talk to god about it. you looked up and out the window and shouted up your prayer god! hey. there's a boy with no hands. he needs help. please give his hands back. help him. you know who to go to when you're confused and helpless. and you believe he is listening. he is. 
my prayer tonight is that jesus will continue to reveal himself to you and draw you close to himself. as you wrestle with understanding this noisy world you live in, i hope you see jesus clearest of all.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, He's so kind... He sees... He hears. Love this so much.

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  2. Ah, when school starts up again. It's joy and hardship at the same time. My kiddos start next week. I am thrilled but sad at the same time.

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