Friday, October 11, 2013

autumn interlude | a resting place


as i mentioned on instagram earlier this week, this is our fifth fall season in north dakota. it's the first one to be of any length, having colored leaves turned and falling in the cozy yellow sun. we're soaking it up, or have been, it's nearly over i think. this time last year we were preparing to begin ABA therapy with elijah. and three years before then, autism wasn't even on our radar.


if you were here with me now, you'd hear me laughing nervously. it's either cry or laugh. that's about all i can do when i try to calculate the weight of life that we've packed into our short existence as a family, especially within these last four years. grateful that though i grow weary in my trying to make sense of everything, the lord pulls me close and says rest. he's been ahead, beside and behind us each step we take. giving grace when we grumble and fight him along the way. he's a tender lord. knowing our weakness and shining himself extra brightly in those feeble places. he's a faithful god. never slacking his grip on us, drenching our souls with his mercy and upholding our frail, exhausted arms with his strength. 


sometimes i forget that it's not about me keeping up, or doing enough or being a better mom and wife than i was yesterday. and when i remember that. when i recall the truth, that jesus holds all the minutes of all the appointments and all the things. jesus already did all that needs doing. everything. he's supreme, and covers me in his righteousness and goodness, which is better than i am on my best day. this truth is my gift. to sing hallelujah to the giver and rest in him is all i need do. that's freedom. and that's what this autumn gave to me.

have you not known? have you not heard? the lord is the everlasting god, the creator of the ends of the earth. he does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. he gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." isaiah 40:28-31

5 comments:

  1. oh sweet hannah, how you bless my heart! i needed this today, and our Abba knew it. <3<3<3<3 so often i fall into the trap of thinking i need to do more, be more; yet He has already done all, been all, that needs done and needs to be. i forget that this life is not my own, but Christ Who lives in me. if we could keep this truth ever in our hearts, living it out every moment of every day, how much better our lives would be! thank you for always sharing your heart so honestly, and for always pointing us to the One Who knows our weaknesses and Who has us engraved on the palms of His hands. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Hannah, I love you.
    I've done a lot of crying and laughing around here too.
    Huuuuuuuuugs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. girl. big hugs and love. He sees, He knows, praying you continue to feel His sweet comforts. i just listened to a Mark Driscoll sermon on the Sabbath (from his 10 Commandments series) and he talked about Jesus being our rest. what peace that brings!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hugs to you, sweet friend. Such lovely fall photos...

    ReplyDelete