i visited the doctor yesterday, certain that i had strep throat or something equally terrible.
praise the lord, seems i just have an awful cold. plenty of rest, fluids and pain reliever were my only prescriptions. the rest part is sometimes the most difficult for me. even when the opportunity presents itself, i almost always choose some sort of chore or "thing" to do. i do not love this about myself. these last two days though, i've taken rest pretty seriously. bordering on lazy even. but i am sick, so. bring on the lazy! this morning, my darling husband let me sleep while he made sure elijah was all ready and packed for a full day of therapy. i stayed in bed for what seemed like a day. it was nice, and i think i may head back there quickly before elijah gets home.
i thought i'd blog about what i've been thinking as i'm sampling my tea collection and enjoying sweet baby oranges...
i finished this book. i think it may technically be for pastors and ministry leaders. but i have confidence that it was a book for me as well. right now. and if you are tired and facing discouragement, it's for you. the truth unpacked in those pages awakened me. praise jesus! wilson writes: "our mode of existence is to believe in and carry the gospel of jesus christ. we are his ambassadors, and what poor ambassadors we are when we work like we're viral marketers for hopelessness." that was one of the best reminders in the book for me. when i give in to fear and anxiety, i am communicating bad news to others, rather than the good news of the gospel.
on a side note, this was my first book to ever read entirely on my kindle app. i think i'm hooked, because i've just purchased and started this and this!
as much as i love reading electronically, i will never ever ever never ever replace my real pages. i love reading actual books. especially the bible. so after a recent chat over valentine treats with family friends, i opened up the book of daniel. we'd been talking about chapter three, where the king made a nifty golden image to be worshiped, and commanded his kingdom to do so. only, those three faithful men, they refused. and the lord delivered them.
i can't stop thinking about verses 16-18:
shadrach, meshach, and abednego answered and said to the king, “o nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. if this be so, our god whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, o king. but if not, be it known to you, o king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.
god is able to do it. but if he doesn't? they still won't worship that image. this makes me all sorts of uncomfortable at first. because i believe that god is completely sovereign over every breath i breathe. and i believe he is able to turn my darkness to light, and sorrow to joy, and pain to peace. but. his way isn't my way. what about when his able delivering looks, well, it looks an awful lot like zero help at all. what about when the circumstance stays the same? when people continue to take advantage of you. when your spouse doesn't return from their affair. when death does come. when disease does take over. when you never get that promotion. when your child never says i love you. would you still be worshiping your able god? would i? there have been many times already that i have failed in this right response to the lord's seeming lack of delivery from turmoil or gloom. but glory to jesus, there have been many times of trusting him as well! many times of repentance, of clinging to him for dear life. believing that he is able and will rescue my soul. even when it's not the way i would choose to deliver myself.
as i thought of this today, i just prayed. for strength, the supernatural kind. to trust him always, and never turn my feet from his way. and i praise him for loving me, and extending his never-stop-always-free grace to me when i fail.
on a less spiritual note, i was also thinking, why on earth did they make that most recent bourne movie?
and i may have been cursing social media for spoilers to certain shows that i adore, but happen to be way behind on watching.
also, being sick seems license to beg for dinner to be purchased and brought home. what oh what shall i ask for?
facing reality, tonight and tomorrow will probably look similar to today. lots of tea, vitamin c and rest. give me your best netflix recommendations, pretty please?