Thursday, February 07, 2013

about a sundog and my anchor

tuesday i noticed the sun was up, but super low. there was a rainbow on one side of the beaming morning light. after school drop-off, i headed out for a little drive before i went to the grocery store. i wanted to get closer to that mesmerizing light. i parked and read through some scripture from ephesians 4. praying and reading and looking at that marvel across the sky. next i chatted on the phone with an encouraging friend, then i hit the grocery store. when i came out, it was still there! doesn't that have a name? i wondered. so i googled what's it called when a rainbow is next to the sun and found its proper name. sundog.

i landed on wiki for my answer.
A sun dog or sundog, scientific name parhelion (plural parhelia) from Greek παρήλιον (parēlion), meaning "beside the sun"; from παρά (para), meaning "beside", and ἥλιος (helios), meaning "sun", also called a mock sun or a phantom sun, is an atmospheric phenomenon that creates bright spots of light in the sky, often on a luminous ring or halo on either side of the sun.
Sundogs may appear as a colored patch of light to the left or right of the sun, 22° distant and at the same distance above the horizon as the sun, and in ice halos. They can be seen anywhere in the world during any season, but they are not always obvious or bright. Sundogs are best seen and are most conspicuous when the sun is low.


i'm not a worrier. i mean, i sometimes can and do, but it's not usual for me. for much of monday, into tuesday, i was gripped by worry and fear. completely stricken with it. i kept repeating aloud the truth i cling to, that i am secure, he's ahead of me, and with me. in all things. uncertain or definite. the lord knows each moment of my day and meets every need with his ready and boundless grace supply.

in this journey with our son's autism therapy, i feel pretty helpless. yes, i make plans with the therapists, and i know what's going on. but, much of his work is done away from me. out of my sight. elijah is only just beginning to be verbal, and it's extra difficult for me to send him off with people that i really don't know. it's safe to say that this is one of the biggest opportunities for me to really trust the lord. i have no doubts that this avenue of therapy is the right thing for us right now. we feel at peace with the professionals the lord has brought into elijah's life. we see the necessity. and slowly, but surely, we see the benefits. 
sometimes though, it's difficult to see god at work in this. mostly because i get in the way. me and my wild imagination, crossing the lines of healthy awareness into having visions of horrible things happening when i'm not around. yep. i go there in my mind, more often than i can count. this is just plain hard for me! as a mom, also as someone who is only recently learning to trust others for myself. these hard things, just because they're hard, and i'm tempted to fear....doesn't mean that i need to give up. it doesn't mean that it's a bad thing for us. it means that i need to run to jesus, plead with him for his help and his peace and wisdom. i need to trust him. trust him to show me when to change course, trust him for safety in the path he has so clearly put us on.
i'm grateful that he uses difficulties and heartache, worry and fear to drive us closer to himself. it's from my desperate need for his comfort and rescue that i feel the closest to god. he shines brightest so often when my soul is in night. his glory is seen best when the light in my heart is low. 

that beautiful little sundog "seen best when the sun is low" reminded me of my jesus. his care and keeping. his promise to be my anchor, and help me with every new day. i'm so thankful for the friends and family who listened to me share my fear, and didn't let me carry it alone. they prayed for me, and the lord delivered. he always deliversthe lord is near to all who call on him. to all who call on him in truth. psalm 145:18

my 'word of the year' is securethat's why i made tiny anchor necklaces for my shop. a reminder to myself of what the lord is showing me over and over again this year already. he is near. he sustains.

i shared last year from my favorite album. well, it's still my favorite, and i've got my favorite song on repeat like it's my job. because it kinda is my job, i think. take a listen, soak it up.





Anchor of my soul – You sustain 
When I’m in the storm, You remain, You remain 
Good to me, good to me 

When it’s a quarter past midnight, and the gray skies fade to black, the waves splash and set me off track. 
So my vessel might crash or collapse when I’m attacked and start wrestlin’ in my head with these bad memories from my past. 
I’m aware of my guilt, overwhelmed and the smell of my blood has the sharks that surround me cast under a spell. 
They waited for me to fall, but when I fell the water got still, and the blood that was spilled protects me – it’s the same blood that cleansed me. 

My only defense against my nemesis, now I can rest knowing that nothing can come against me unless the Father gives consent. 
Evil intentions will not disturb God’s purposes or interfere, so who shall I fear if my anchor is secure? 
Learning to consider it pure joy when I’m facing tribulations – praising God instead of complaining and getting overtaken with bitterness . 
Looking at the pages of the book of James and seein the ways that God works through the trials to make us more mature in our faith, 
And it reminds me how desperate I am in this desert land, thirsty for Your mercy and plan while You give me the strength to stand. 

You’re my greatest pleasure, yeah, no matter the weather I face, Lord. You never forsake my fragile life- I’m safe under Your sovereign grace. 
At some point every human looks right in the eyes of agony, and through tragedy, asks himself, how can this happen to me? 
You might be the type with enough insight to hold on for your dear life, but slipping cause your grip is not as tight as you might like. 
You ain’t immune to it, naw, and if you’re true to yourself then you ain’t new to it, trusted and self lusted and lured to it. 
So when the darkness overwhelms me, and a tide of lies rises and swells, it is well is what compels me. 

When faced with adversity, Your truth constantly reminds me that You command the seas with ease and with words, You turn a wind to breeze. 
Helps me understand that we stand on a solid Rock, not on sinking sand. Through the providence of pain You perfect Your plan. 
Pre-destined, we test it when the works and words of God cooperate and educate men in a great gift of grace and faith - 
That even though it’s obvious when my outlook’s ominous, You bound my heart and my conscious, and gave me a constant calmness. 
So when the pain comes like rain from the parts of life that maintains it’s strain, I can put my trust in the hands that sustain. 
It’s profound that with all these sinking ships around me, He surrounds me and He anchors me with His grace abounding. 

Oh, Lord
Good to me, good to me
Good to me

26 comments:

  1. Hebrews 6 is it? Hope is an anchor for the soul. I CLUNG to this too during our adoption journey. Thinking of getting a tattoo of it somehow. I could be crazy. Haha

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  2. Wow Hannah, this was so spot on. Way to hold on to the truth.
    And I think sundogs are on of the prettiest things I've ever seen.

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    1. they are beautiful! grateful for these lessons he gives through creation. xo

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  3. Thanks for sharing your heart, dear one. So much courage and authenticity, pointing to Jesus like you usually do. Love you!

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    1. thanks, sweet angel. grateful for your encouragement! xo

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  4. I've never heard of a sundog but that is extremely cool. And thank you for sharing. I'm
    still searching for a word for me. Thanks for sharing your heart and your journey.

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    1. thank you, liz! can't wait to hear about your word! xo

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  5. i love your word for the year, and your heart, and that you google things you are wondering about :)

    i am not much of worrier by nature, but that seemed to become a whole different ball-game when i had kids. lol.

    love your faith friend! and i know that god will pour him blessings out because of it.

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    1. oh yes, the kid really bring out my true heart!
      xo

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  6. beautiful post and beautiful song. rapping gangster. i knew we were kindred spirits.

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  7. Jesus the sundog. i like it. : ) this is beautiful, hannah. you are reflecting such Truth to us, through this journey you're on. thank you. and that song? love.

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    1. so glad you love the song! praise jesus for his truth and guidance. xo

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  8. Thank you, Hannah, as always. I love that anchor necklace... Reminds me that I'm anchored in His love!
    (We love our recent necklaces, too. Gave my oldest daughter the I Love You note one - she adores it. xoxo)

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  9. Amazing. I am so thankful that God introduced us. I am blessed by you.

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  10. Love that song. Thank you. Blessings to you In Him. :)

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  11. do you remember that old nineties song, the anchor holds? this post takes me right back to standing chest deep in a whole bunch of teenage pain, but knowing so clearly just Who holds on to me.

    absolutely loved and secure. thank you, Lord.

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    1. oh yes, love that song. and it takes me to a similar place. grateful for redemption and security in HIM.

      love you! xo

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  12. I love that song! I'm not familiar with Beautiful Eulogy but I love Josh Garrels, who is featured on Anchor. One of my absolute favorite artists!

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  13. I'm baaackkk lovely lady! New blog, same me!

    I have never heard that song before, that is beautiful! Your post spoke straight to my heart and I thank the Lord for giving you the strength and honesty to share your trials.

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    1. hey there! thanks, bekah. always so encouraged by you xo

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