it's maddening really.
being the sort of tired that is beyond physical. i mean, i think my body is tired, too, but i can't slow down enough to feel the strain of it. this is the sort of busy that can't be helped, a calendar that has no free space. because there just isn't a day of "free" in the page of february. this is unfamiliar to me. i don't like it. but this is the way it is right now. each little marked up date is necessary and i need to just keep up with it somehow.
the spending of my minutes is wearing me thin. my mind is thin. the calculating of budgets and appointments, repetitive phone calls, the juggling act that is having only one car to get it all done. these things teeter atop the mountain of my normal. laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, bill paying, meal preparing, family loving...i need leveled. i need rest. i need relief.
this is my prayer. in the sweet moments and the difficult. i need his mercy always. but sometimes.
some days i really feel that need. often when i am this exhausted, i simply have no words of my own.
in the psalms, like this one, there are always words. prayers ready for me to cry out to jesus.
i want to encourage you today. whatever your storm, take refuge in him. seek out the truth of his word, and shout it aloud to him, if you have the strength to cry it. i've not been able to muster much more than a whisper lately. either way, he hears us when we call. he carries us when we are weak. he fulfills his purposes for us. even when we can't see a glimmer of sense in it all.
trust him with me today. rest with me this weekend. in the midst of our crazy, let's take refuge in him.