Tuesday, November 22, 2011

working through discouragement {about that list}


remember my list? i created it back in march in hopes of being a 'better me' by my 31st birthday.
my birthday is less than one month away. my list is not completed. i did not reach my goals.
yeah, i crossed off a few things. that made me happy.
each thing on the list may not seem a big deal to you,
but some things are/were a chore for me.
i am super discouraged. depressed even.
and that is no way to be when you have goals to reach.
that is no way to be any time.
every day life is hard for me sometimes. my husband works all.the.time.
my child is crazy busy and needs me. and that is fine. i love that.
it's where i want to be.
but. these goals were important to me.
the realization that they aren't being met in my timing just hurts me.
good grief i am selfish. also, when will i ever learn this lesson of his timing, not mine?

the biggest list let down for me is the 'lose 31 pounds'.
i lost seven. if that isn't lame enough:
i have gained those few pounds back these last two months.
insert expletives here.
ok. now that i expletive-ated...

you know what?
rather than wallow in my discouragement here,
i'll use this post to tell myself to get over it.
this list was a great start for me! i can keep going!
the idea of the list was to inspire me. to nudge me in a direction of new things,
or things i just seem to avoid, you know?
this was supposed to be fun. not enslaving and burdensome.

i read awesome books i had put off for too long.
i learned a slew of new recipes to jazz up the dinner menus.
elijah has his adoption story all written out and some baby book cuteness, too.
not every week as hoped, but i did memorize some new scripture.
facebook is history, i have been singing more, and started a pen pal project.
those are a few things that did get crossed off.
i will get the other things done. maybe even a few before my 'deadline'.
like the cheesecake, that is being done this weekend. holla.

this rambling has helped me.
i will soon be 31.
if the lord wills it, i will celebrate that birthday.
i will not be discouraged about the 'could haves', or 'didn't do'.
looking ahead, plugging along. even tackling the list.
even if it's at a different pace than i want to go.

19 comments:

  1. Don't be discouraged. Although you didn't check off everything, you did check off quite a few. Just make a new list & a new deadline. It's your list just like this is your blog, you can do what you want. I think you did a GREAT job!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ' Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently'
    ~ Henry Ford

    I say this because I've gained back 5 of the 20 lbs I lost, but I know I would be happier, healthier, better caring for my temple, have more energy for my girls.......(the list goes on) if/when I get back on track. Press on girlie! Press on!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also that verse is my motto. Everytime I'm tempted to say what's it all worth? Like in the heavenly spiritual relm what's the point of decorating my house, doing my make up....whatever, I remind myself of this verse.

    Now I've really rambled & completely made up for my absence! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Don't be discouraged! Even if you had crossed ONE thing off on the list, you'd be ahead of the game, right? And you've crossed off a bunch!
    (I am not even going to discuss the weight issue. ~cringe~ Maybe I should make a list too. Really.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just do what you can with what you got all for the glory of God! ...and I love your new header and button..looking good!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You're so right. There's no need to be discouraged; you can do it in the timing that works best for you!! You are beautiful, friend!
    Happy Thanksgiving!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. I just love you. Yes, the Lord has His timing and it just doesnt seem to gel with ours most of the time. You look fantastic, but I understand wanting to feel better and be healthier. This time around..all to HIS glory ! You can do it with the hand of our Lord.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i read this post and think--'oh hannah. you rock and sometimes you don't even realize how much!' so inspired by all you've done by setting goals and i look forward to reading what else you've got planned!
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  9. We all have those disheartening days. I do appreciate how you took count of all you have done this past year. Goals are good, but we can't live by them. You are wise and will move forward. Bless you sweet Hannah.

    ReplyDelete
  10. oh friend do not be discouraged!

    making the list is the first step. it gives you a starting place, a place to go forward. i know you have grown and learned just from making the list.

    i know it is easy to feel discouraged... its hard not to feel it. the focus needs to be put on what you did accomplish and not what hasn't been done.

    you are encouraging and inspiring friend. thank you for sharing your heart and being so honest. you will complete your list in the right timing... in His timing. i am praying for you friend. i am going to make my own list... i love that idea. i am a planner and goal setter but general keep my list in my head. i like the idea of putting it out there.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You always inspire and encourage me--go easy on yourself: ) Life happens--good things like husband, kids, and family sometimes gets in the way of our own goals--savor it. You were discouraged for a minute now let it go and focus on all that you did accomplish--because those things you mentioned impressed and inspired little ol me!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love how you said your goals should never been enslaving and burdensome- that's so true! God's timing is not our own and He knows so much better than us.

    Can't wait to see how that cheesecake turns out :) because I just paid $7 for a slice of red velvet cheesecake and I'd LOVE to be able to make a whole one for that much. Yes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I really love your outlook on this! I have a list of things to do before my 27th birthday.. I've done like 4 things and I'm over half way there. But like you, I've read books I hadn't before and done a few other new things. Yay for that!

    ReplyDelete
  14. aw please don't be discouraged! you encourage so many other people like me so you should feel encouraged yourself :) you can keep going and you will, by God's grace :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. "now that i expletive-ated..." hahahaha you crack me up!

    i ahve lists. not tangible, but oh so many lists. i am learning to have grace for lists too. like you high fiving the accomplishments, and moving slowly but surely through some of the other things on my list.

    31! you should go to baskin robins on your 31st birthday and sample all 31 flavors (forget the 3lbs.. you are gorgeous!)

    i turned 30old last week. not 30oldest, but the one under it.

    happy thanksgiving beautiful inside and out friend!

    ReplyDelete
  16. i hate hearing my friends are discouraged.
    breaks my heart.

    but also, seeing how far you have come, and how much you have done in 2011, i am encouraged FOR YOU.


    i'm glad you can see that too. :)

    i'm glad 2011 means we are friends. here's to a fabulous 2012 (lord willing)

    ReplyDelete
  17. What a great list! You have some really cool things left to accomplish... good thing you didn't use them all up last year. What would you have to look forward to? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Grace, dear Hannah! Grace.

    You accomplished so much... and you are a youngin'!! There is time! :)

    I hope your discouragement does not last long, but that you encouraged at what you have done and what the Lord has for you in the year to come! :)

    ReplyDelete