Tuesday, April 05, 2011

i figured it out

i have been super stressed out the last couple of days. some things have not turned out as i hoped they would. my toddler isn't sleeping at night, which means i am  not sleeping through the night. i planned to participate in one day without shoes today and later link up to hannah's beautiful post. i gave up this idea when my son shattered a glass jar of spaghetti sauce all over the floor. i would go on, but i will stop right now with the complaining, whiny part of this post.
why?

because i figured it out. i realized that i am super stressed because i made myself this way. no one else did, only me. i figured out that i have been incredibly selfish for awhile, getting irritated an frazzled when things go "wrong". everyday life happens. messes are made, plans are canceled, menus are changed, sleep is lost. big deal. it only bothers me because it isn't how i planned it. somehow, the last few days, i have allowed my selfish desires to stomp out my love and kindness. i have chosen myself and my needs as more valuable than those of others. good grief. i hate it when i have days, or strings of days, like that. blech.

so, since i figured out that i am a selfish sinner pants, now i can ask forgiveness and move on.

and something extra cool? i read this post after lunch. i wept a bit, thanking god for even using my online friends to encourage me, whether they know it or not.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests,
but also to the interests of others.
philippians2:4esv

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
ephesians4:32esv

I have been crucified with Christ.
It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith
in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
galatians2:20esv

11 comments:

  1. Hannah, you're totally speaking to my heart here! I have the most trouble with the little inconveniences during the day and God just brings me to my knees! Thank you for sharing and being so honest.

    P.S. Your comment on Rachel's post about Bible verse memory brought me to tears. I meant to tell you a while back how it moved me.

    P.P.S. I wanted to apologize to you. Being the non-sophisticated blogger I am, I didn't realize that you can't email commenters back. So, I had emailed back your comments to no avail. Thus, it seemed like I wasn't responding to comments. Oy! I've learned now.

    Have a blessed day! :)

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  2. thank you thank you!
    what an encouraging comment.
    thanks for stopping by, and making me feel normal:)
    and memorizing the word is certainly powerful!
    xo

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  3. This post touches my heart. As a mama whose oldest child is 30 and youngest child turns 10 next week, I still blow it by being selfish and wanting things to be how I have planned that they should be. (It does get easier though...I don't blow it NEARLY as much as I did when my first two children were young. :-)
    Oh, but you are such a wise young woman to recognize the root of the problem.

    In Him,
    A lurker who couldn't stay quiet today :-)

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  4. love love love the philippians verse. such a challenge - to look out not only for our own interests. :)

    so funny how often we think WE are in control (story of my life) - but our Sovereign God has such different plans for us. :)

    As long as we are happy to ride along in His Will, when things don't go according to our plan, we'll be able to deal with it much better.

    I so feel ya sista!

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  5. oh guuuurl. SO feel you. sometimes, i think God must look down on me and my plans and laugh. xxoo

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  6. hannah.. i can relate in every way. I am so thankful when those days have passed, hoping I allowed the Lord to teach me something. the more we have them, the more we learn to go with the flow.
    I wake up thankful His mercies are new every morning! I pray you can rest in His faithfulness tonight!
    Blessings:)

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  7. whew! thanks everyone for stopping by, chiming in and encouraging me today! so blessed by each of you. sleep tight!

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  8. So true - expectations (false ones) get us every time. And I am so selfish. Been thinking about this a lot lately. And the humility of God coming to earth as a man. Humbling himself and making himself nothing.

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  9. Found this blog through my mom. What a great reminder. As a mama of 5, one of whom is a 7-month-old, I never get enough sleep and it makes me grumpy. Then I let all the little things through my day get me down instead of simply living and being thankful in this season where God has place me. Your words touched me.

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  10. Hi Cousin - I love your blog - thanks for being so honest and for leading us right to the Word.

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