Friday, March 25, 2011

a serious talk with myself

i have been having explosions of emotions and thoughts in my brain for over a week. in addition to the usual bit of future dreaming/planning, my past has crept closer and closer to the forefront of my daily thought life. between scripture study, reading and visiting some powerful blog posts,
i have been soul-stirred.
like whoa.
now, i have thought about "my life" many other times before. this round of thought has been very different. is it because i am older? possibly a bit more mature and objective? it doesn't matter why, i suppose, rather what i choose to do with all of these memories, grief, pain, anger and guilt. it seems i am realizing that what i thought had been "dealt with", may never have really been handled well at all.
i think it's time for a serious talk. with myself. about myself.
now, obviously, prayer and seeking the lord will be key here. relying on myself is what ripped a gigantic hole in the tapestry that is my life in the first place.
what would it be like to share part of this
journey of  "dealing" on my blog?
how would i? should i? theraputic as i'm certain it would be,
the thought of anyone reading about my deep, dark secrets honestly makes me feel ill.
sure, i've shared with a few people before,
and even helped a few, by the grace of god.
writing it for public viewing, that is crazy. right?
i'm wondering though, after the encouragement that i have felt from others' blog stories, is there something i have that could help someone? anything? for even just one person?

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction,
so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which
we ourselves are comforted by God.
2corinthians1:3-4esv

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
the old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 corinthians5:17esv

Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again.
psalm71:19-21esv

7 comments:

  1. i love you so much. my ears and heart are always open to you .xooxo
    -lil sissay

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  2. your words and thoughts and the ways the spirit convicts and spurs you on always heartens me and draws me nearer to my Savior. no doubt your sharing will only edify and encourage many. i love you hannah. i am praying for you always. especially this night. xo<3

    isaiah 53:5

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  3. I just "met" you & don't know anything about you, really. But, if you feel the pull to write what is on your heart, I think God will use it to bless & grow others.
    The blog stuff can be tough. I don't have it figured. It takes discernment & a lot of courage to write deep stuff for everyone else to see.

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  4. Communicatin is a very powerful tool as I've learned myself the hard way. All I can suggest is don't let reason win, trust your heart and give yourself the chance to heal. Much much love Hannah your a very strong, inspirational woman!

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  5. I love you despite and because of who you were....and who you are now!

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  6. It's hard to be open and honest especially in a public setting. You never know the kind of feedback you will receive, but if you feel that the Lord is calling you to speak out you should take that leap of faith. It's not like I have a lot of room to talk, I don't tell my secrets, but it's something I've thought about recently. I would love to hear what you have to say and I would be 100 percent supportive of it.

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  7. You will know what is enough to share and what is too much. There are parts of my story that I will not include in my {un}planned gift series. Parts that are too raw and too personal. I understand your dilemma. I too have struggled with how much I feel comfortable sharing, especially when I know my children might some day read my blog (the oldest one already does sometimes). Maybe write it out first, the story you want to share. Read it over and over again. And then you will know how much you want to post.

    (((hugs))) from me! You are awesome and I know anything you had to share would be received well in the blogging community.

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