Sunday, November 07, 2010

on my mind today

"You will never make a missionary
of the person who does no good at home."
{c.h. spurgeon}

i thought of this quote and looked it up last night, after patrick and i watched a documentary on gangs. this particular film documented the crips and bloods of los angeles. i often wish that god had called (or would call) me to a foreign country to minister for him. instead, for the time being, he has called me to the missionfield of my home. to my husband and my son. my home is also my city. my state. my country. america. i was placed in america, by god, on purpose. one of the reasons we really preferred to adopt from our own country was because we feel like we should take care of our own first and foremost. this is not to in any way put down international adoption or missions. (i am hoping that you can see the heart of what i am saying here.) i've had many discussions and arguments about this issue of caring for america first.
it breaks my heart to see the hurt in mexico, iraq, sudan, haiti, uganda, ukraine, india...
i pray for those hurting lost areas,
and the missionaries that god has placed there.
for me, not being called to go abroad,
i darn better get to steppin on the missionfield right in front of my face!

i think because we live in america, pass by hurt each day, we are a bit numb to the need here.
we live downtown. a super tiny town, but in the heart of it's "party" scene. there are more than ten hopping bars/clubs practically right outside my doorstep. this makes for interesting weekends. i can hear amazing conversations just outside my bedroom window. people mill around the street corner, on our handy comfortable ledge to have a smoke or finish their drink. i've heard just plain weird stuff, creepy stuff, funny stuff, gross stuff and painful stuff. i've learned by hearing and seeing here in our small town, these people are hurting and lost. all i know to really do so far is to pray for them. on the spot, when i hear them outside my windows.
last night when we watched that movie, i was moved deeply.

i wept through most of the film. i am only slightly familiar with real gang life, having had acquaintances heavily involved in detroit and chicago gangs. this film struck me because it really told the story of children. basically orphans. right there in los angeles.
a new generation of fatherless, angry and love-starved children is growing up right now,
hurting, looking for comfort and love and security.
where will they find it?
who will offer it to them?
some of these kids/teens/adults live right in l.a. and have never even seen the pacific ocean. why? they are not able to leave their neighborhoods. mostly out of fear. they are literally stuck where they are, hopeless. violence, drugs, hate and fear keeping them imprisoned in the life they are living. the documentary mentions a few organizations(privately funded) that strive to help these people involved in gangs and everything that comes with that life.

these people. they are all human. created by god.
they are moms, dads, kids, aunts, uncles, cousins. they hunger, thirst, hurt, get exhausted...
everything, just like i do.
they are souls in need of a savior.

doesn't sound like a glamorous missions trip, does it?
in the heart of poverty stricken, gang ridden california.
we'd rather go to disneyland, right?
the film just made me think about myself.
the grace i have been given through christ's work on the cross.
who have i shared HIM with?
who will i share HIM with?
as we pray and support our friends in foreign AND domestic missions,
let's ask god to search our hearts for what he would have us do.
right at home. for HIM.

do i make sacrifices for christ so that others can see HIS love?
let's shed the fear, insecurities and numbness and open wide our hearts and hands
for the souls that are here. at home.
what are you called to do? where are you called to go?
what are you called to give? we must ask ourselves these questions and get busy.

i love this song by shai linne.
we have the greatest story! TELL IT!

shai linne // The Greatest Story Ever Told from The Lamp Lounge on

Make me to know your ways, O LORD;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
psalm 25:4-5esv

Let love be genuine.
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 
Love one another with brotherly affection. 
Outdo one another in showing honor.
Do not be slothful in zeal,
be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
romans 12:9-11esv


  1. God has been showing me similar things. Thanks!!! May we all be faithful to do what He calls each one of us to do where we are, in the here and now. Open our eyes, Lord, and melt our hard, cold hearts. Amen.

  2. Hannah - I love this - it is so true. A lot of times we tell ourselves "Man, I can't wait to go on a mission trip to tell people about Jesus" - the thing is, it is easier to be bold and tell people when you know you'll never see them again, when it is a different culture anyway, and there is no long-term accountability (us to the people we share Christ with). I think it takes a lot MORE faith and more strength to consistently share Christ HERE, through relationships, through TIME spent with real people - people that we have distanced ourselves from b/c we are afraid of corrupting our precious "Christian" utopia - I love the quote, I love what you wrote, I love your heart for this, and you have challenged me - thanks! Oh, and I have a good gang movie to recommend - it's in Spanish, but it has subtitles... "Sin Nombre" - watch it soooooon! :) (Also heartbreaking)